Laughter Doeth Good Like Medicine Humorous Headlines in a Daily Newspaper

[Dean & GladysBeaty]

They walk among us and are known as your fellow man.....
Headline:
County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds.
Did we elect these people??

Headline:
Volunteers search for old Civil War planes.
Civil War planes?
Let me know how that works out.

Headlines:
Amy Vehicle disappears. An Australian Amy Vehicle worth $74,000. has gone missing after being painted with camouflage
I'm saying GREAT paint job.

Headline:
Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum.
'We had no idea anyone was buried there.'
Headline
Ten Commandments Supreme Court say some OK, some not
I didn't know we could choose.
Headline:
Utah Poison Control reminds everyone not to take poison.

This one says it all.


Headlines
Federal Agents raid gunshop: Find Weapons

What are the odds of that?

Headlines
Statistics show Teen pregnancy drops significantly after age 25.
I would have guessed 20.

Headlines:
One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.
OK, that's just mean.

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The Peacemaker

[Dean & GladysBeaty]

Joke: Telephone call to heaven
A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read 'Calls: $10,000 a minute.' Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign.

The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Denver, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Georgia, upon entering a church in Alma, Georgia which is only about 30 miles from Waycross .....behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read 'Calls: 35 cents.'

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, 'Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden Telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute..
'Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?'

I love this part....... ........................




The pastor, smiling benignly, replied,

'Son, you're in the South now . You're in God's Country.... It's a local call.'

American by Birth - A Southerner by the Grace of God.
Brought to you by
The Peacemaker